Could it be, Bakabird…?

To all you loyal readers of Bakabirdie@wordpress, I empathise with you. The abrupt disappearance of Bakabirdie from the blogosphere has left many bewildered. Now let me clear up all ambiguity with  ugly revelation: Bakabirdie is dead. A minute of silence please, as we commiserate the death of this great Bird.

A few days ago, I received a highly intriguing email from a dubious source about the, as quoted, “triumphant arrival” of a new blog. Promising to be better and bolder, the writer of this blog calls himself the dark twin of Mr Chua Yun Cheng, founder of the deceased blog. I was appalled by the sudden emergence of his illegitimate twin; could he, the evil one, be hankering after inheritance? Furthermore, lawyers have confirmed that Mr Chua Yun Cheng had bequeathed a set of 27 Disney-printed underwear to his next-of-kin, “The Unseen Half”. I didn’t know then, and hence hesitated to share this with all you readers.

Cooperation with the Dark Twin won me a glimpse of the feminine but unsurprising  inheritance. Bakabirdie had a fetish for cross-dressing.

But today fellow members of the blogosphere, I can no doubt assure you that the evil twin, Cheng Yun Chua, is no fraud. After meticulous rounds of snooping, this new blog is no doubt better, bolder and also cruder. We all know, 所谓旧的不去,新的不来 – While we mourn over the unfortunate death of Bakabirdie, let us not dampen the mighty arrival of his evil twin. But before I expose your eyes to the greatest evil of all time of this Blogosphere, here’s a little about the author and a deterrence to the young and uncorrupted out there:

“I’m a bird, hear me gong jiao wei~”

Should you choose to proceed any further, I will not bear not any responsibility. The choice is yours. Presenting to you,

BAKABIRDY!

FML

Today I was deliberately late for school because the paper starts at 8. But what the heck, I reached bedok at 740 and decided to get off bus 31 to take a cab. Cannot play play, if I enter late I won’t be in the right state of mind to do the paper. Another vj girl boarded the bus and gave me the perplexed look for alighting.

And I thought, ha! Wouldn’t she be late?

The cab took 3 minutes to leave the taxi stand, which means 3 minutes after the meter started and 3 minutes worth of money. The cabbie got stucked in almost every single traffic light. I had to pay EIGHT FREAKING BUCKS FOR THE TAXI FROM BEDOK TO VJ, WHICH REACHED SCHOOL 1 MIN BEFORE 31 DID. And for the girl who took 31, she walked into school right after I did my temperate check at the gate.

Turns out, she was in time for the paper and I am the ultimate loser of the day. FML.

Not to mention that while Eileen and I were studying at simei BK, some smelly ah peh came and sat beside us. He smelled like a damp pe shirt left in the bag for 3 days untouched OMYTIAN. And no, I am not mean. If I lock you in the cupboard with him for an hour or so, you’ll be crying for mercy. Then he moved at sat behind me and the stench was even stronger. Lucky Eileen, unlucky me. The only time I wasn’t suffering was when he bought fries and the aroma masked it all. FML

China’s version of BOF. Even Eugene Peh is 10x more handsome.

My favourite scene <3 He looks a hundred times more alluring when he ain’t smiling

One drama too many lately and the dichotomy between fiction and reality becomes unclear. It’s so amazing how their love is so pure, sweet and not physical at all.  And how they can wait years and years for someone is an awesome contrast to the prevalent puppy love and unkept promises of “forever” today. I even dreamt of the show while sleeping and it was a horrible feeling to wake up and realise this ain’t reality.

While over-indulgence in fantasy is detrimental, nothing is worse than studying, especially Econs. If only there was a 2 math 2 science combi, I’ll be first in queue. The only thing I like about exams is coming home early. Fact be told, it still feels like the holidays! I’ve been spending so many hours watching dramas hehe. One year, 1 term and 8 weeks before a nice long break. I will persevere!!

Last night, I dreamt that I met Shanna & co while studying. They left for awhile so I took care of their phones, of which one kept ringing. After awhile I got extremely irritated, so I picked up the call only to hear my dad say “7 already! Why are you still sleeping!” Oops, I overslept

Happy endings, anyone?

I skipped school on Thursday to study but ended up watching BOF. Friday was meant to be study day too but I woke up at 1pm because I ate sleeping pills. I pwomiz not tu eat sleeping pills anymore, never knew it could be that potent. Anw, didn’t study either but watched BOF instead! Exams are next week and 2d is having sentosa outing on Monday, which means I CAN’T GO

Then was dinner at Fish n Co at the Glass House to celebrate Jiaying’s birthday! Sheena even went up to sing Jy a birthday song Gina, Megan, Felicia and I shared a seafood platter for 2, an the grilled dory was orgasmic! I love dory fish. I saw a AHband senior who graduated before I even joined the school. He still remembers me from 2007 SYF and it’s a nice feeling to backtrack Then we had GJ because drinks were going at $3 per cup, but my usually awesome mint chocolate bomb tasted like toothpaste !!

Came home and watched BOF again till I completed the entire drama. Now it feels like a fairytale chapter of my life is over But awww at least there was a happy ending! Hopefully there’ll be a sequel!! For now,

Any Korean dramas to recommend?!?!

And I want a KimBum bedsheet set!! Best to have his face on my pillow case. I am a sucker for fairytales

Faggot of the year.

I hate you Calvin Teh. I hate the fact that you’re my brother, but I thank god that we are a world of difference. Which imbecile at the age of 21 will buy MCs 2-3/5 times a week just to skip army to play Maple Story and Dota. I hope one day you get caught out while on your fake MC and get locked up in camp so I don’t have to see you or tolerate your stench. At the age of 21, you have no sense of personal hygiene and you literally stink up the entire study room with your unbearable body odour. You are pathetic and the world and my world will be a better one without you. Your IQ is terribly low but what baffles me most is that your EQ falls a notch below that.

You spend hundreds from your measly pay on Maple cards and a whopping 1k on 1900 chatlines and have the cheek to ask Dad (who obviously told you off) for money to start a lan shop. I assure you that you will go bust 3 years before you break even. Not to forget that you foolishly spend on attached girls you call your meimeis (haha! Your desperate attempt to salvage things after rejection) who have 0 interest in you. You are pathetically desperate and it’s a shame that I have you for a brother. So pathetic that your friends message me behind your back to report of your quaint activities. And when I mentioned that, you rebutted with a pathetic “Don’t lie, my brothers say you are making up story.” Brothers my ass, you can suck my big toe after I step in mud.

Last but not least (and there will be more to come in the following months and years we share under the same roof), I hate the fact that you fight over the study room. I need to study and all you care about at the age of 21 is playing Maple Story. Calling you a bastard from hell is inapt because that would suggest diabolical wit which you have none. Truth is, you are a reject of Loserville. You need to and should remove yourself from the face of planet Earth.

When even dreams and fantasy fail you

Today I sat by my new, big and awesome study table to complete one chapter of econs, including the dreadful tutorial. Because Ly says I should study first and then reward myself with one episode of BOF.

But little did I know that episode 13 sucked to the core and was one hell of a heartbreaker and dream dasher So it seems that they all grew up in episode 13 and scenes shifted from the chirpy school environment with reckless fun to the dreadful streets of Macau where Sicao meets several crooks. Not to mention the cold shoulder she receives from the love of her life. Everything probably happens for a reason, but I hate sad stories. I want happy endings.

I’m starting to find him real charming, cause he’s so sweet and awesome to Sicao. And he plays the violin. *Pokes Eileen and Elissa*

Now even something that I seek solace in turns out to be devastating. I scanned through episode 14 and 15 and it seems… just as sad I always knew growing up sucked, just like how I kinda hate the way life is now. Not to mention that school starts tomorrow.

I hope things will get better next half of the year, but I don’t know where to begin. I have a few more hours to wallow in self-pity. Good night earthlings, and we all need a little love to get us through.

NUNGA NUNGA?!

Now that mid years have been been postponed, I have no mood to study at all. Today, I read half a chapter of Econs and then went home. To watch Boys Over Flowers! It’s in Korean though and the I can hardly understand the Chinese subtitles. I love you KimBum! <3 So much drama makes me dread reality.

Yesterday was Teppenyaki at Eileen's place. Saspanty naughty so she brought Vodka. And I swear I wasn't drunk it was the stupid smoke that kept blowing into my face. Then we watched Angus, thongs and perfect snogging and it was bloody hilarious I nearly died. The funniest part was NUNGA NUNGA aha!

Watch the first 2 minutes! After that we started laughing about nunganungas and attacking each other. I was also having fun plucking Graci's leg hair. I'll miss you all when school reopens I dread next week a fucking lot.

Last night, I ate sleeping pills but still couldn't sleep. And I found the reason. It's because life has been pretty screwed and I can't stop thinking about what the next half of 2009 has for me. I really miss my secondary school life.

Phucked Up.

What The Phuck.

At 8am today, I got up on the wrong side of the bed. At 9, my bus was still at Simpang and I knew I was going to be shit late so I turned back. I should have slept in instead!! When I got off bus 2, I realised that I needed to get my sleeping pills. So I took another bus to Bedok polyclinic and there were so many folks (who were not wearing masks) coughing away.

I went back home for a nap, overslept and rushed down to Tampines polyclinic for dental. On the way there, I accidentally destroyed my earphone. When I reached, the receptionist said “Where’s your parent? This is MOH, under 18 need your parent to be here to sign the consent form.” I am bloody hell 17!! And I’m polishing my teeth, not getting an abortion. The dentist said No, he wouldn’t polish my teeth. Wut the phuck I waited for 6 bloody months already!! My dad suggested faxing the consent form to his office and he’ll sign it and fax it back. But you should have seen the look on the receptionist face when I suggested that… “No no nooo caaannnoooot!” Begrudgingly I left by the main entrance and got stopped by the old woman doing the temperature check, “Leave by the back door!” By then, I was already fuming like no mother. Then I asked for direction and this lady replied in a are-you-blind-or-dumb tone “It’s over there can’t you see??” Fuck ni lah. Or more like fuck ni men.

I will never go back to Tampines polyclinic again! Except for my postponed appointment. Bedok is the best! They have young (and cute) lads doing the temperature check and one of them said “I recognise you!” when I re-entered and said bye when I left Minus one off the angry scale, it is now at the 80th percentile.

Then I went to Simei after that, supposedly for starbucks. But it was full so I walked around and waited 20 minutes for bu5. Iris was inaccurate and I walked to the bus stop to see bus 5 leave. Tamade I had to wait another 20.

Teppenyaki at Eileen’s house tonight. If I burn myself or choke, I will call in the fengshui master.

I need a chill pill but I only have sleeping pill.